


drown at sea

by a_reckless_being, grilledwater (a_reckless_being)



Category: OfflineTV - Fandom
Genre: Gaslighting, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, If you can’t tell I can’t tag, M/M, No Beta, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rust AU, This has been living in my brain for months now please help, Why Did I Write This?, bro the author is chaotic neutral and an asexual be afraid, corpse should’ve stayed home oh god, sykkuno sadness book, toast was a g, we die like warriors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:14:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28673544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_reckless_being/pseuds/a_reckless_being, https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_reckless_being/pseuds/grilledwater
Summary: -This work has been discontinued. See why in “note-“-The world isn’t perfect, but the outpost is a beacon of hope. It casts light for those in desperate need, offering what it can to help them back to their feet. Sykkuno never expected to watch both it and his freedom burn to the ground.Or: the story in which Corpse is forced to fight for what he loves[Rust AU. Heed all tags]
Relationships: Corpse Husband/Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 57
Kudos: 183





	1. Chapter 1

***PLEASE READ THE ENTIRETY OF THIS MESSAGE***  
This book will contain graphic themes of r@pe and gaslighting. Chapters that may contain severely triggering content will be marked with “*” by the title. Please head the tags. If you believe any of this content will affect you in a negative way, reading this is discouraged. This is not fanfiction meant for those under the age of 16 or those who cannot handle said themes.

THIS WORK IS NOT TO BE REPOSTED WITHOUT THE AUTHOR’S PERMISSION. This story, if things go as planned, will be an intensive labor on the author’s part. Writing to such an extent with other worldly commitments is not easy, as this is not the author’s full job. Please respect their choice to discontinue this work at any point, should physical, mental, or other complications arise. Discontinuing is not the plan, but it is 2021. 

This will be taken down without hesitation should the streamers Sykkuno or CorpseHusband verbally state that they are uncomfortable being romantically shipped or written about. Do not send this to them, harass them with this, or pressure them about their relationship, platonic or romantic. The characters in this work are not the actual people. Several people will be portrayed as negative characters, but that says nothing about who they are as human beings. The work simply needed a character to play out the parts needed, and these two were decided on for various reasons.

Author’s note:  
Hey guys! Updates will (hopefully) be out at least once a week. Consistently writing for this book is going to be difficult as I am a person with real responsibilities, as sad and shocking as that is. However, this has been floating around in my mind for quite some time now and I decided to put pen to paper. This is not beta-read, so expect some errors here and there. Comments fuel me! Kudos are much appreciated, but feedback in any way allows me the opportunity to write in a way that fits those reading!

Lets get on with this wild ride, shall we?

Life is good, Sykkuno thinks, as he stares up through the small opening in the roof of his shared home. The stars above seem to wink at him, playfully teasing like they want him to join them in the vast, dark sky. For a moment he wishes he could, but the rustling of the warm body next to him grounds his mind. He turns as much as he can to face the warm lump of a human. That is, as much as he can with a large arm trying to constrict him like an anaconda.  
“You awake, Corpse?” he whispers, not wanting to wake his partner if he isn’t already conscious.  
“I am now. Why aren’t you asleep?” It takes a minute, but Corpse rumbles back a reply, his voice rough and scratchy from the grasp of sleep. The moon is just overhead, peaking into their home and casting rays of milky light over the both of them.  
“‘M not sure, I just woke up all the sudden and couldn’t get back to sleep.” Sykkuno replies quietly, his voice the opposite of Corpse’s, velvety and pitched much higher. Corpse has nothing left to say it seems, as he’s simply staring at Sykkuno’s moon-washed face. His eyes look magnificent, the larger man thinks to himself as he loosens his grip on Sykkuno to reposition. They wriggle around until Corpse’s head of curls is tucked beneath Sykkuno’s chin and his torso is wrapped up in a pair of lean, pale legs. Corpse’s arms wrap over Sykkuno’s waist once again, and he sighs as nimble fingers play with his hair. Slowly, surely, the breathing swallowed, the heartbeats slowed. Just like that, they were both asleep under the stars’ watchful gaze.

The only downside of sleeping under the stars, besides rain, Corpse thinks, is that the sun gets to beat you up in the morning. He tries to hide his face in Sykkuno’s shirt in an attempt to escape the loud rays of light, but nothing is there. Panic spikes through him and he shoots upward, looking desperately around their little one room shack. It’s no help though, as Sykkuno is missing from the small space. Corpse frees himself from the thick blanket on the ground and dashes to the door, throwing it open. He’s met with several faces, some amused, others curious. A huge wave of relief hits him as he spots his lover chatting with Valkyrae not too far away. The adrenaline seeps out his body, and the minute embarrassment he feels take its place. This isn’t the first time this has happened. He meanders his way over to the pair and when he spots the bowl of fruit in Sykkuno’s hand, he snags it from him, eating all he can.  
“Corpse!” Sykkuno shrieks, playfully offended that his half finished meal has been yoinked so brutally from him. Corpse holds it easily over his head, smirking at the shorter man.  
“Rae! You have to help me out, I wasn’t done with that!” Sykkuno whines. Rae bursts into laughter, and a few others chuckle with her.  
“Sorry Sykkuwu! You’re on your own,” She laughs. Soon enough, the wooden bowl is empty. Sykkuno is caught up in something Leslie and Rae are rambling about, so he floats away to return it to the storage house. It’s the largest of the group of small buildings, built solely so the group of ten or so could house away large amounts of food and supplies all at once. There were about seven other small sheds, each home to one or more persons. The group had lived and sustained like this for almost two years now. It was amazing to see how far they had come. What had started off with a few rudimentary walls and roofs was now a neighborhood of wooden homes with tops that didn’t (usually) leak. They were known for being peaceful, supplying those in destitution with enough to get back on their feet. It was something Sykkuno had started. He had brought forth the idea to stockpile, instead of simply sustaining. His kind heartedness and soulful generosity had given them friends and kept their enemies very scarce. Valkyrae, Leslie, Edison, Toast, and Ludwig were all faces that lived here, among others. However, despite sweet Sykkuno as the face of the giving, most of the rest wouldn’t hesitate to take a life. They all came from different walks of this strange life, and many weren’t very nice. Corpse was included in that list. This world was full of angry people with dark intentions. The little outpost at which he lived was the only one of its kind, a beacon for those with mortal wounds. There were empires all around them, each one eviler than the rest. Clans built on spite, groups solidified by anger at a common enemy. They’d rise and fall like the tides, but there was one thing that Corpse was certain of. He was never going to let Sykkuno drown at sea. He stepped out of the storage house after a word with Toast who was busy at work inside, drifting back over to Sykkuno to tell him he was heading out for a routine search of the area. Sykkuno nodded, unfazed, and wished him luck. Later on, Corpse would really wish he had lingered a little longer, said ‘I love you’ one more time, or stayed home altogether.

Sykkuno was pretty, even through binoculars, he decided. Lowering the device in his hands, he grinned down at the outpost below. The stupid communittee had caused him trouble long enough. It was time he put an end to it, by killing it from the inside and burning down the remains. The tall man rose to his feet and turned to look at one of the men beside him, armed to the teeth with hard-earned weaponry.  
“He’s gone. It’s time.”


	2. down in flames

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it’s hard to stand and watch when your whole world is up in flames.

The air smells like rain, and a wind from the North spells a change in the seasons. The little outpost is quiet now, everyone has cleared out to complete daily tasks. Sykkuno sighs, scratching his head as he looks to the sky. Winter is always the hardest time of year. Nothing seems to grow unless you’re right on the Southern Coast. They had their lowest numbers of supplies the past few months, and gathering enough to support both those living here and the wanderers seeking help takes unfathomable amounts of food. Sykkuno could only hope that whatever loot box Rae, Jack, and Peter were out looking for wasn’t already empty. He swiveled, turning back into the storage to assist Toast with sorting out the stock. The brilliant chef seemed to read his worry.  
“What’s up with you today?” Toast asked quietly.   
When Sykkuno couldn’t come up with an answer he wanted to give, he simply replied with a mundane “Nothing.” Toast didn’t seem to buy it.  
“Don’t play coy with me Sykkuno. If you don’t tell me I’ll lock you outside when it starts to rain. That brought a chuckle from Sykkuno, knowing full well that Toast gave no empty threats. Not wanting to be soaking wet, he gave in.  
“We’re dangerously low on stock as it is. We’ve been giving out less and less, yet the lower we get, the more people seem to need help. This thunderstorm is the forefront of winter this year, and if Rae doesn’t come back with something something-”  
“Sykkuno,” Toast cut him off, obviously sensing that Sykkuno would end up rambling if he gave him the chance, “Look around you. We have plenty to get us through the season, even if we have to lose a few pounds. Plus, everyone knows winter is hard. If you turn a couple people away, now one is really going to blame you.”  
“But I can’t just turn someone away, Toast! You know I can’t and I won’t” Sykkuno declared, his voice rising just slightly. Toast said nothing more, not wanting to push him any further. They went back to their work. With each spoiled fruit or rotten vegetable, Sykkuno cringed just slightly. However, with each disappointment, it seemed to get a little better. Hurt a little less. His hands started to do the work for him, his feet shifting when something was just a little too far away. The work drives away the chill in his bones brought on by the gusts of wind that slip through the walls. He fades into the numbness of being preoccupied. Seconds turned to minutes, and the minutes slipped away faster and faster.

BANG, BANG, BANG

Three gunshots ring through the air. Sykkuno jumps, head shooting towards the slightly open door. Toast tenses, reaching for a weapon that doesn’t exist. Sykkuno, too curious for his own good and too terrified not to do anything, slinks towards the door despite Toast’s whispered discouragement. The door is opened every so slightly more by a gust of cold wind. As he reaches it, he freezes, hand on the door frame. At least a dozen tall figures stand about seventy meters away, in the middle of the camp. One, front and center, has a revolver raised to the sky. Upon further inspection of the group from his place at the door, they’re all armed. Guns, lots of them and many different kinds occupy these people’s hands. Toast places a firm hand on his shoulder, and he turns to look back at the man. His face is grim and worried, a look Sykkuno can’t remember him ever wearing.  
“It’s xQc.”  
Sykkuno’s eyes widen just slightly and he can’t speak. A loud voice rings from the man with his gun previously.  
A man Sykkuno recognizes to be xQc, “Nice to see you, sunshine. Step out of the building.” His voice is firm. He’s smiling but even from here he can tell it never reaches his eyes. “Come on out now. Nice and slow, hands in the air. Who else is here?” Toast and Sykkuno inch out the building until they’re standing in the chilly air, hands reluctantly raised.  
“You don’t need to know that, buddy,” Toast spits. A grave mistake. Smiling, xQc holsters his gun and strides up to them with his hands in his pocket. Once face to face with Toast, he raises his hand. It cracks through air and against his face, strong enough to whip Toast’s face to the side and cause him to stagger slightly.  
“I wasn’t talking to you, scum,” Once he’s done glaring at Toast, he side steps, staring straight down at Sykkuno. A cold smile sweeps over his face once again and he raises his same hand. Sykkuno flinches, but instead of a slap, it comes to rest against his cheek. He can’t do anything but stare at the hand, then up at the man, confused and nervous. Sykkuno’s whole body is practically trembling with fear. The squadron of armed men hasn’t left his field of vision and it does little to calm his nerves as they advance slowly, coming up behind xQc.  
“Now,” xQc speaks, “This doesn’t have to be difficult, dear.” Dear? Sykkuno thinks suddenly Since when-   
“Is there anyone else at the outpost right now?”  
After a long moment, Sykkuno reluctantly replies, fearing that either Toast or himself will be filled with metal if he doesn’t. “No.”  
“Now that wasn’t so bad. Any materials we might want?” xQc questions.  
“I...I don’t believe so, no,” the shorter man barely gets the words to come out of his mouth.   
“Thanks for a response, sunshine,” He turns to his men at his back, his voice changing to an even more lifeless tone, “Search the buildings. Kill anyone on sight. Take what you can carry if it looks to be worth more than pennies.”  
Kill? The blood drains from Sykkuno’s face and he turns his head. Toast is looking at the ground, a look of defeat on his face and blood dripping from a cut on his cheek. Toast… no Sykkuno has never seen him this way. The Toast he knew would never give anything up without a fight. He had never seen the proud man hang his head so easily, or ever in fact. It was startling, and it shook him to his core. They had been through so much hardship together and their friendship flourished in it. Why was he giving up now? All he can do is watch and soldiers throw doors open and storm into buildings. xQc seems content to watch the whole thing with his hands clasped behind his back, still smiling.   
“So, Toast. How would you like to die?”   
Sykkuno might’ve gotten whiplash from how hard his head turned to stare at xQc.   
“You’re not seriously going to… kill us?” The last few words are quiet, scared.  
xQc stares back at him. “Oh no, certainly not you. You’re coming with me! No room for your friend here however.”  
“I- uh no. There’s no way I’m going with you. I have to stay here to-” Sykkuno is cut off before he can finish what he’s saying.  
“You don’t have to worry about anything to do with this pesky outpost anymore. You’ll be living in luxury on the Northern Coast beside me.”

The words baffle Sykkuno. He’s never been to the North Coast, it’s been brutally claimed by… ah. xQc’s entire empire was located in the Northern Mountains, as far as he’d heard. Not to mention travellers say it’s always cold and nothing grows. An eternal winter. He shivers at the thought. He doesn’t even register the rest of xQc’s words. Doesn’t realize the one little detail. “Beside me.”

“Well, if you can’t come up with anything, I’ll decide your death for you.” xQc is looking at a handful of returned soldiers again, some with bags full of stuff. “Lock him in the store house. Burn everything down.”  
“What?” Sykkuno proclaims, moving too quickly for the intruder's comfort, as he’s grabbed underneath his arms by two of them. “No, no you can’t don’t lock him- Don’t burn it down, please I’m begging you!”  
“Aw, I like it when you beg.”

Toast still hasn’t looked up, but his eyes shift to find Sykkuno’s.  
“It’s gonna be okay Sy. It’s my time, it’s okay.”  
Toast’s words felt like nails in a grave.   
“No, no, NO! It’s not your time, no you- Toast no!”  
His heart pounded as they dragged Toast into the large building, barricading him in. Toast didn’t even fight back. One man lit a torch, walking around the wooden structure and lighting each of the four main posts on fire. Time slows, and the heat of eight buildings going up in flames hurts the bare skin of his face. He struggles against his captors grip, but they’re too strong, too much. He doesn’t even notice the tears that cascade down his face. Suddenly, he’s being drug away, turned away from his world burning to the ground. He can’t hear the scream that rips through his throat when the roof of the store building collapses, burying his friend inside.

Corpse has walked this path more times than he can count. It’s a three mile radius around the out post, winding and connecting to other dirt roads in a sort of giant circle with strings attached to it. He did this every day and he could walk it in his sleep at this point. Some days were simply walking or, if he got lucky, riding one of the horses Ash always seemed to come across on her outings over the path. Others led him to different sorts of people, some half dead, others half insane. All in need of help, though, as Sykkuno would remind him as he told his stories from the day’s work when they turned in for the night. Corpse smiled to himself and squeezed a little more with his leg, encouraging his mount to move a little quicker. The sound of thunder laughing lifted his head to the sky. Clouds were gathering quickly, masking the once blue sky in a grey veil. That's when he saw the smoke. The plume was huge, and it climbed the sky quickly. Puzzled, he thought of what might be burning. Nothing in this area could cause such a smoke, at least not that close to… the outpost. The thought struck him like a sword. He tapped his horse, sliding his right leg back to ask for the canter. They ate up the ground beneath them as Corpse desperately raced towards home.   
Of all the days only Sykkuno and Toast stay behind. He thought bitterly. Rain drops hit his face, obstructing his vision as they drew nearer. It took no large amount of time for them to reach the outpost, and what he saw made him gasp. 

It was one giant, raging fire. It had consumed the entire village and was leaving nothing behind. Several buildings were simply smoldering, reduced to ashes and burnt logs. The store house had caved in, and hopelessness overtook him. He flew off of his horse, sending her away to get to safety. Corpse called for Toast and Sykkuno, but no one heard him over the roaring flame. Hoof beats thunder behind him and he spun on his heels. Rae, Jack and Peter all gasped.   
“We saw the smoke! What the hell happened?” Jack yelled  
“I don’t know, I just got here. I can’t find Sykkuno or Toast!” Corpse shouted back.  
The rain was falling heavily now, beating down on their shoulders. It was cold, but it was their only hope of stopping this fire. They looked on helplessly, and Rae caught others who arrived shortly after and told them what was happening. 

Corpse didn’t believe in any gods, but he prayed. He begged and pleaded silently in his mind that if anyone was out there, they would save the love of his life. The poor man had no idea that Sykkuno was on his way to the Northern Coast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapters after this will begin to contain themes listed in the tags. 
> 
> i cranked this out in an hour what the actual hell


	3. pocket of stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s always been a long, hard walk. Seeing the stars along the way makes it some what easier.

Thunder sings overhead. The sky is bathed in dark clouds that make it hard to judge whether it’s night or day. Rain falls in heavy droplets, rolling off of the leaves in the trees that tower over them. Precipitation has made the path choppy, littered with sunken puddles and layered in slick mud that Sykkuno has trouble not slipping in. He can’t tell how long they’ve been struggling along, but it’s been long enough to exhaust him. He’s surprised that no one is on horseback, not even xQc himself. The kevlar vests and thick, military grade boots they all don mustn’t make things easier. Sykkuno’s clothes are soaked. The short, somewhat thin boots he wears are probably ruined by the slop. The wet, coupled with the dropping temperature as they move both North and vertically has turned the fingertips of his bound hands a blue hue. The rain has also drenched the rope that binds his wrists together wet, and the chaffing on his skin has long passed the point of merely uncomfortable. It’s led him to regret his foolish escape attempt that landed him with his wrists raw. His teeth chatter ever so slightly, but the discomfort of cold has turned to sharp pain that forks through his limbs. He had slipped at some point, but one of the four armored men surrounding him at all sides grabbed his arm before he could fall. It caused his numb arm to protest, but Sykkuno supposed it was better than falling and not being able to catch himself.  
With nothing else to distract him, he lifts his head to inspect the area. All he can see is a dense, thick wooded area, full of pine trees. The merry band of silent men trudges along a thin path, barely wide enough to fit three across. When things kicked off, Sykkuno tried to memorize every bending turn they took but soon gave up when they ventured off of a path entirely at one point. The past day- Or days? He can’t remember. -lingers on the outskirts of his brain, nagging at him and pestering him with rotten emotions he doesn't want to feel. When the number of trees he’s counted soares into four digits, he gives in. Sykkuno thinks about what Toast would tell him in this situation. What would he say? A snarky remark, a witty comment, or perhaps even nothing? He sure didn’t have a lot to say before he- Sykkuno winces as if the thought burns him. He stares at his moving feet, desperate for anything else to wonder about. The outpost. Almost three years of work, all gone to waste. The others, they probably returned a-and I’m not there what if they- The reality hit him that they had no clue where he was. Maybe they thought he went psycho and burned everything down. The thought made Sykkuno’s stomach churn, and a grim feeling set in. It sealed his fate. Even he didn’t know where he was. There was no chance of him pulling free from xQc’s hold over him and even if Corpse-

Corpse

Sykkuno almost stopped moving until he was prodded with the barrel of a gun. Oh god, Corpse. He could only imagine the emotions rolling through Corpse’s head. He probably thought I left him. Tears welled in his eyes, rolling down his face in tandem with the rain. Sykkuno swallowed back the pain in his chest and batted his eyes fiercely, determined to keep the tears at bay. Just the thought of his partner instilled newfound strength in him.

Whatever happens, I will get out of this alive. I promise, Corpse.

Corpse’s wet curls drap his eyes, heavy with rainwater as he glares into the small, ironic fire the eight of them have gathered around. His fingers are fidgeting, wound to keep himself from biting his nails. He absentmindedly fiddles with the thick metal ring on his left thumb, The familiar feel of it brings a tiny comfort.  
“Corpse?”  
He looks up through the curly mop on his head, peering at the people staring back at him.  
Ludwig speaks up again, “You doing okay?” His voice is quiet, almost like he’s trying to free a wounded animal from a trap without scaring it into oblivion. Corpse looks back down at his hands, forearms resting on his thighs and unsure of what to say. When nothing else comes to mind, he finally utters out “I miss him” in a voice riddled with pain and lack of use. The rain let up less that an hour ago, the sky still dark with clouds. Not even the stars wish to be here. Poki, who’s handing out mugs of soup stock they managed to save, stops by him to slip one into his hands and pat his shoulder gently.  
“We all do,” Karl states solemnly and he nudges Corpse’s shoulder with his own in an act of friendship. The charred log they share is hard and unpleasant, a firm reminder of the ruin their home now is. Where houses once stood, there are simply shattered frames. Some were even burnt to the ground, unable to be saved even by an onslaught of rain. The cold storm was to thank for what little they had left now. All of them had seen the smoke claw its way into the sky and had rushed back. Corpse was just glad he didn’t have to watch it burn down alone.  
Toast and Sykkuno were both a mystery. When Rae deemed it was safe to poke around the crisped outpost, they had all braced for the worst. Nothing was found. Human… remains that is. When the burnt builds had finally yielded all they had, they gathered up what they had found and hunkered down. There wasn’t anywhere they could actually go, so they remained. Peter, Rae, and Jack had come back with a thankfully full loot box that contained materials to make some sort of canvas roofs that were just high enough to sleep under. Tents, but not tents. It was something, but it surely wouldn’t protect them from the looming threat of winter. Peter yawned audibly, stretching his arms to the sky.  
“It… might be time to catch some sleep, friends.” He suggested lightly.  
“Agreed,” Leslie responded. The two rose, and took the few steps from the fire ring to one of the “tents”, shuffling around the ground until they were comfortable on their backs. Several followed, sleeping about three or so to one of the three canvas shelters. Corpse remained, glaring into the withering fire. Ludwig stood, crossing over to him and resting a hand on his shoulder before retreating into a shelter. Only Rae was left, and she was looking at him from across the fire. As if sensing him unwillingness to move, she spoke.  
“You’re going to have to sleep at some point.”  
“At some point, yes.” There was silence for some time until the ombre-haired woman rose to her feet and circle over to him, plopping down where Karl once sat.  
“If you aren’t sleeping, then neither am I,” Rae declared, her determination immanent. So she stayed, looking up at the sky. Neither shared any words for a lengthy amount of time. It didn’t last though. Rae elbowed him gently, pointing faintly to the sky at a patch of clouds that had cleared away right overhead, just enough for a handful of stars to peak through.  
“Look up, Corpse. They’re watching over us, and they’re watching over Sykkuno too.”  
He lifted his head, gazing into the dark sky. Lo and behold, there were stars.   
“I have no idea where he is, but I’m certain he’s okay. Sykkuno isn’t made of glass, and neither are you,” was all she said as she stood, heading for a canvas tent. One of the stars seemed to twinkle at him, trying to lure him to the sky. Corpse wished he could. Maybe if he were stardust, he could bring Sykkuno with him to dance forever in the black abyss of the sky above. The thought tugged at the corners of his lips, nearly pulling a soft smile from him.  
“You’re out there somewhere, and I will bring you home. Even if it kills me, I’ll choose you. Over and over again until there is nothing left of me but my love for you. I swear it. We will stargaze again, side by side,” There it was, the faint smile, “I can’t wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. This was going to be double the length, but it just seemed like such a perfect place to end the chapter. 
> 
> Also, I did a shit job describing the outpost homes, but when they existed *yikes, sorry* they were something like less than 500 square foot mobile homes directly attached to the ground. So they weren’t... really mobile homes??? And they were wood... but they had like bathrooms and shit? (Shower, toilet, dingy sink. No tubs. We aren’t that classy.)
> 
> Anywho. I’m watching the crown rn and Diana’s actress is just *chefs kiss*
> 
> Comments give me motivation, and thanks for the support <3.


	4. seeds of doubt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lies are easy to believe when you’ve been told nothing else.

The onslaught of rain had turned to a light drizzle. It was certainly there, but it thankfully wasn’t beating down on them. The sluggish path had widened considerably, now wide enough for five to walk shoulder-to-shoulder instead of two. The trees had thinned as well, giving way to what seemed to be the edge of the heaviest part of the woods. Sykkuno’s eyes poured over the land. It had flattened out and their incline had ceased. It almost appeared as if they were on an enormous plateau that stretched just beyond Sykkuno’s field of vision and less of a mountain peak. The group’s trudge turned to a fast walk, the people around him seemingly eager to be wherever they were going. Each step hurt his feet and traveled up his ankles to his shins, but his newfound desire to live kept him on his feet. His tired eyes blinked against exhaustion and his lips were caught in a downward drop. The chaffing of rope on his wrists had been long forgotten about, overwhelmed by mortal emotions, but the sensation came back to him slowly and he found himself wincing from the pain.   
“We’re back, soldiers,” someone announced.  
Sykkuno’s downcast eyes flew open at the sight that rose to meet him. There, five hundred meters away, towered a wall. It had to have been at least seven feet of stone. Over the top he could see a towering building, easily doubling the height of the wall. It was castle-esque, intimidating and cold. There were several tall, scattered windows on the central building and he could make out the tops of other buildings beyond the heavy stone as they drew nearer. Standing outside the large door stood a guard, much like those making up the party surrounding him.  
When they came to a halt outside the door, he nodded to xQc, who had been up at the head of the party, and turned to punch in a code on a keypad beside him. The door groaned and gave way, opening inward to reveal what they walls held. Shortly after stepping inside, Sykkuno nearly froze. What he saw amazed him. The packed dirt path branched off, connecting to buildings composed of both thick logs and stone and eventually disappearing as it wove and turned. There had to have been roughly twenty structures varying in height and build. They were all relatively small, and a handful of inhabitants were walking to a fro. A sign hung above one door. “Pub” was burned into the slice of wood. Several broke off in the direction of the hut, leaving the group behind. Few passing spared Sykkuno a look, most too busy with whatever they were doing. Some of his once escorts stopped to talk with others, grasping hands, slinging an arm over a shoulder, or even sharing a kiss. A number of diverse inhabitants clapped xQc on the shoulder, congratulating him on the easy victory he claimed had been a battle. He was abruptly grabbed by the arms, steered in the direction of the central establishment. He stumbled along, unbothered by the grip on his sore biceps. If he hadn’t been pulled along, Sykkuno would’ve stood in the street all day, simply staring at the how fluidly life carried on around him.   
It might as well be a kingdom, Sykkuno thought to himself. Where did all of these people even come from? The reality that every single person he saw here had a semi-chaotic, real life momentarily stunned him. He had grown so used to his little group of friends and those who came to the outpost were usually alone or in pairs.  
They approached the towering building, the group of more than a dozen now down to about five. xQc reached the key pad first, stamping in the code. Why is everything locked away? He didn’t have time to dwell on the thought before he was being dragged along again. The first level was wide and open, with tall, slim windows abundantly taking up the rangy walls. Round tables scattered a portion of the area, each had about four or five chairs a piece. Some of the chairs are occupied. Those sitting were either nursing drinks, going over what looks like maps, discussing something foreign fervently, or all three. A man pouring himself a glass of something amber colored at a bar looks up at those coming in.  
“Welcome back. It was a success, I assume?” The man inquires, watching his glass fill. His tone is nonchalant, like he already knows the answer.  
“Too easy,” xQc responds lightly before shifting to face the two men at Sykkuno’s sides, “Take him to the third floor.” That sets them in motion, and for the first time in hours, Sykkuno shows resistance, gripped by a fear of what awaits him  
“Hold on-” He barely gets out before being dragged to the wide stairs at the back of a short hallway. Sykkuno is led to the wide stairs near the bar that rise facing the wall. As he reluctantly steps up the stars, he catches the eyes of the man pouring his drink. Sykkuno tears his eyes away when a mean smirk plays at the stranger’s lips and he disappears up the stairs. The second floor is an ounce smaller, windows somewhat less copious. Like before, he’s offered no time to stop at stare doorless rooms full of chests and other curious things. The third floor is similar to the one below, but instead of open rooms, there are winding hallways that lead to closed doors. Sykkuno is moved down a hallway that turns and twists just enough for him to forget where he is. He’s halted at their destination and one man punches a code into the keypad next to the door. Locks seem to be quite popular here, Sykkuno muses, suddenly not so sure he wants to see what lies on the other side. The other man reaches for his wrists, taking a knife to them and slicing through the wet rope with little effort. The door clicks open, swinging inwards. It reveals what looks to be a guest room of sorts. Sykkuno is roughly pushed in by a hand on his back. He spins on his heel to face the door, only for it to slam in his face.   
“Wait!” He shouts as the lock clicks audibly back into place. Sykkuno slams his palms on the heavy wood door, “Y-you can’t leave me here!”  
He’s breathless, scared and unsure. His mind races like his heart. Sykkuno shakes the doorknob but it doesn’t budge. “No… no I can’t, I have to leave,” the words are heard only by the walls around him, and a tear rolls down his check. No amount of pounding on his door or rattling the handle brings him results. Sykkuno’s silent tears shake his shoulders in defeat, and he drops his head and lets his hands fall to his sides. Sykkuno turns his back to the door, sliding down it until he’s seated on the floor. He examines his gilded cell. His first thought is the size. It is notably large, and a second door leads to a bathroom. There’s a queen sized bed on a frame of wooden pallets. The wood floor is covered partially by a thin, circular rug that looks to be some kind of animal pelt. A ceiling light casts a dim glow over the room. A single, wide window catches his attention. Sykkuno rises to his tired feet reluctantly, stumbling over to the window seat to plop down. The view displays the backside of the village, giving way to perhaps ten more structures he hadn’t seen before. The ground past the back wall disappears, giving way to what’s probably a towering cliffside. Past that is the sea, rocking and crashing. The massive waves catch Sykkuno’s breath in his throat as he leans on the window seat, fingertips pressed against the cold glass.   
“Wow,” Sykkuno murmurs. The sight is breathtaking. He’s seen the ocean before, but it was always calm and relatively peaceful. He brings his legs up under him until he’s curled up. He leans his cheek on the cool surface of the glass, listening to light drips of rain and the distant crash of the ocean. Soon enough, his weariness catches up to him, pulling at his eyelids. His thumping heart has surrendered to exhaustion, leaving him defenseless as any thread of adrenaline seeps out of his body. One by one, each sore muscle of his body relaxes. His anxious brain quiets down. Sleep grows at the edges of his awareness. One last time, his lips pull apart before he fades into a deep slumber.

“I wish you could see the ocean too,”

Sykkuno stirs, joints stiff from the clutch of sleep. His bleary eyes peel apart and he blinks, trying to scare away his foggy vision. For a moment, Sykkuno forgets where he is. releasing where he is brings him much comfort however. After he’s gained his bearings and his slightly less dizzy, he sits up, bumping into something beside one of his tingling legs. Sitting on the window seat next to him a grey woolen sweatshirt, covering the other clothing items underneath it. Curiosity leads him to pick it up the items. He finds a pair of worn black denim pants, among other things.   
When did these show up?  
There’s no note, no real sign that anyone visited him besides the objects he clutched. He was cold, unbearably so. The wool of the sweatshirt was soft to the touch and was likely warmer that the thin green long sleeve shirt he had donned days ago. Sykkuno touches the shirt he wears, playing with the hem caught between his index finger and his thumb. It brings a solemn smile to his face as he remembers the day Ludwigl had brought it back from an area search.   
“‘Green is your favorite, right? You’ll never guess what I found!’”  
They had both been so excited, sharing the joy of finding something so simple but so precious back when the outpost was still dangerously new. As much as he wants to keep it on, the material is damp from rain and speckled with mud. The chattering of his teeth doesn’t add many pros to keeping it on either. Sykkuno stands of somewhat steady legs. He heads for the bathroom, praying that it has a shower. When he passes the bed and opens the door, he nearly cries tears of joy at the sight of a full bathroom. He sets the clothes he had been gripping in his left hand down near the towel hanging by the tiny shower.   
“Lets see… how does this thing work?”  
Sykkuno fiddles with the knobs until he finally gets a spray from the showerhead, turning them in a direction he hopes is hot. As he peels out of his shirt and trousers, his eyes catch on the doorknob. It has a single basic lock. Slowly, as if it might burn him, Sykkuno reaches for it, making sure the door is shut tightly and the lock turned. He claims it as a small victory, tendrils of pride flaring in his abused heart.  
“If you’re going to lock me in a room, then I’m going to lock you out of one,” the brunette declares to no one in particular. His bare skin shivers, coaxing him into the shower. It’s blissfully hot, just cool enough not to scald him. The steady flow is strangely comforting. It’s consistent temperature and pressure is a welcome factor. The showers at what used to be the outpost could be somewhat unpredictable, hot one moment and ice water the next. Sykkuno stands there, basking in the hot water for seconds that stretch into minutes, perhaps minutes into an hour. It’s long enough for the water to steadily lose heat. He jerks out of his trance, rushing to get the soap out of his hair and step out of the cold spray. When Sykkuno decides enough is enough, he turns the shower off and reaches for the towel. It’s thin, as most are, but it pulls the water droplets off of him and his hair. He takes extra care to make sure he’s dry, not wanting to be in wet clothing for a second time. Sykkuno tugs the denim jeans on, surprised by their tight fit. They slide on, but they’re snug in a way that makes them feel… tailored. He pays no mind to the thought, brushing it aside. The sweatshirt, on the other hand, is loose. And warm. And soft. And oh so comfortable.   
A small, round mirror on the wall grabs his eye and he examines himself. His hair still looks wet, but it’s drying and fluffing out quickly. Sykkuno’s eyes have faint circles under them and his skin is pale, yet in a shockingly porcelain way. No longer wanting to stare at the stranger in the mirror, he unlocks the door, stepping back out into the room.   
His heart shrieks, his lungs freeze, his steps halt abruptly. 

“Well, that took you long enough.”

The man sitting on the window seat where Sykkuno once rested is the last person he wanted to see right now. Hundreds of words fly through his head, most of them angry, but none reach his lips. xQc sits nonchalantly, sharpening a small knife with a smooth, round stone about the size of a clenched fist.   
Sykkuno finally strings some words together, his jaw tight, “What do you want?” He receives no real reply, just a glance.  
“What do you want, sunshine?”  
That causes the frustration to flare in his chest, boiling up and spilling out of his mouth.  
“Oh, how about to return to my home?” Sykkuno can’t stop the words, his trepidation overridden by his anger, “Wait, that’s right. You burned it to the ground.”  
To Sykkuno’s confusion, xQc actually frowns. He is unsure if the sympathy written on that man’s face is real or a facade.   
“Look, I know you won’t agree with me, but the hovel you called home wasn’t doing anyone any real good, especially not you,” xQc says lightly as he stands.  
“I- excuse me? We were providing for those in need!” Sykkuno spits, furious now.  
“You were fueling an addiction for most. Those begging wanderers were only coming to you because they knew they could extort you. Get what they needed just to live another day of crime,” the tall man’s speech doesn’t stop there, “They were using you and you didn’t even know it, so I brought you here in an act of mercy.”  
“This is what you call mercy?.”  
“How is it not? I’m providing a new, far better home to you. I could’ve left you with the criminal you called a friend but I didn’t”

Sykkuno was stunned with a new rage. “Don’t you dare speak about Toast like that!”  
They had somehow come face to face, standing a mere step apart.  
“Did you really believe he was your friend? He was using you too. They all were. I’m surprised you didn’t realize how much they leeched off of your kindness,” xQc replied calmly, all too sure of himself.   
Sykkuno couldn’t find the words to respond. The seeds of doubt had been planted.  
“You like to garden, yes?” despite no reply, xQc carried on, “There’s a garden on the roof. I’m considering letting you tend it, since it’s had no attention.”  
“What, you kidnapped me so I could grow plants for you?” Sykkuno looked to the side, his heart in turmoil.  
“No, I just thought you’d like to. However,” xQc turned for the door, opening it slightly, “If you don’t want to leave this room, that’s fine too.”  
Sykkuno’s eyes widened, and he looked up at him once more, reaching slightly with his hand. “No, wait! I-,” xQc stopped to look at him, waiting for him to finish, “I wouldn’t mind a garden,” Was all else he said, and with a small smile and a nod, xQc left, the door clicking shut behind him.

Sykkuno’s hand dropped to his side, gazing defeatedly at the floor. The doubt was growing. With only a few simple words, xQc had completely overturned his battered mind, rewriting what he saw. 

A tantalizing smell drew his attention from his sorrow over to the window seat. There sat a bowl, full to the brim of thick, steaming soup. Sykkuno’s mouth water and his stomach growled. He dashed to it, picking up the spoon leaning against the side of the bowl carefully before bringing the flavorful food to his lips. A note had been stashed under the bottom of the bowl, scrawled writing on a torn off slip of paper. He took it between his fingers to read it carefully.

‘You can see the garden tomorrow, at noon.’

Sykkuno sighed, dropping the paper and finishing off the soup. Despite his full stomach, an emptiness yawned open in him. 

Was it true?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Corpse this chapter, sorry folks.
> 
> I apologize for taking so long, I’ve had a full schedule and I ended up rewriting half of this chapter.
> 
> I’ll probably be redoing the first couple chapters after a while if I can sort out the next several updates. The quality of these should be improving soon, but that also means less consistent updates. I’ll try my best!! 
> 
> To those commenting, you’re all so sweet! It’s true that an authors best motivator is the audience (for me, atleast). 
> 
> also, not me listening to dark academia-esque music while writing, no not at all 👀 
> 
> Stay rad pals.


	5. tears for tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the world keeps turning, even if your not ready for it to.

A cold wind beat against the group as they sifted through remains once again. With somewhat clear heads and a few nights of sleep at their backs, Poki, Karl, Rae and Corpse picked through the burned outpost. Jack, Lud, Peter and Leslie had all ventured off together in search of supplies they knew couldn’t be found at the outpost. Winter loomed over them, both a constant threat and a good motivator. The sun had backed away behind wispy clouds, refusing to offer even the slightest warmth. Their teeth seemed to constantly chatter and their muscles never quit quaking.   
“Hey, I found another box!” Karl announced over the voice of the wind as he wiped ashes off of the blackened crate. As luck would have it, most of the storage crates utilized for storing important items such as food, cloth, and more were packed away into wooden crates finished with a seal. The waxy substance and the thick nature of the wood had protected large amounts of vital supplies from the fire, saving part of the outposts work from destruction. Many of these boxes were filled with winter supplies, likely packed away early last spring. So far, they had piled together enough food and material to dress them all in an extra layer and feed the eight of them for a month.  
“Great, let's see if we can get it open,” responded Rae, dropping what she was looking at to help him pry open the top. She pulled open a knife she had found in the ruin to slice along the creases of the charred binding. With practiced elegance, Rae split open the seal, stepping back to let Karl pull the top off of the lid in one motion.  
“Oh man, we scored big with this one!” Karl rejoiced as he peered into the box. Tucked away inside were stacked cans of vegetables and animal fat. Nestled next to that was what drew their attention, however. A bundle of slick, waterproof material sat inside the crate.  
“Oh man, that’s so lucky! There gotta be enough for at least another few jackets in there,” Poki mused, running the precious material between her fingers. Waterproof materials weren’t easy to come by, but they made the strain of harsh winter easier by keeping wearers dry and warm.  
Rae smiled and nodded, “Would you look at that. You think you can pull together some coats from this, Poki?” Leslie, Jack, and Poki were some of the few in the group who could sew and actually make it look good. Ludwig had tried… but ultimately failed.  
“Oh, of course! If Jack wants to help, we could have maybe five ready by tonight. It’s possible we could make more, but we might not have enough,” Poki chirped.  
A call sounded over Karl’s shoulder, “We’re back!”  
“Speak of the devil,” Corpse huffed sarcastically. The four of them gathered around the box turned to see Jack waving frantically, followed closely by Lud, Leslie, and Peter. A canvas tarp slid across the ground behind them, and as they drew nearer, Corpse could see that it held a briming pile of scrap.  
“How’d it go, guys?” Rae questioned, placing a hand on her hip.  
“You tell me!” Jack laughed, gesturing to the tarp, laden with materials. In the pile layed rolled up bounds of leather, tools, and old metal scrap, among other things.   
“You found all of this?” Karl questioned, lips pulled into a grin once again, “What the actual hell?”  
“Dude, there was so much stuff laying around. Hardly anyone was there either,” Lud spoke, dropping the edge of the tarp he had been dragging.  
“It looked like there had been a loot drop or something recently,” Leslie smiled, brushed a strand of hair out of her face.   
“Well it’s a good thing that you guys went today, look at all this stuff!” Rae was sifting through the metal scrap, separating tools from raw materials.   
“We should start bringing trees down, now that we have an axe and saw. We could have a structure up in two days, I bet!” Karl suggested, a spark of motivation shooting through him.  
“I can start making jackets from the cloth we found,” Poki stated, already gathering up the sewing kit she had salvaged earlier, “We found some waterproof stuff, would you mind helping me Jack? Leslie, if you’re up for it you can, too.”  
“Sure, I’d love to,” Jack responded cheerily. Leslie nodded and followed them to help. Rae picked up a saw that was missing a wooden handle, “This’ll do,”  
“Rae, no, find the other handle first of you’ll lose a finger,” Ludwig protested, digging around in the pile for the misplaced item.  
“It’s for a good cause!” Rae shouted. Ludwig ignored her, pulling the saw from her hands and jamming the end piece back on. Just like that, work had begun and a new task was underway. Corpse followed the bickering shapes of Rae and Lud to the edge of the woods, Karl bouncing along next to him. Peter walked ahead, examining a rather large tree.  
Upon deciding that it was both wide and tall enough to produce beams, they began. Bringing trees down can be a delicate task. Even in the winter, when the bark was dry and crumbling and the tree lacked leaves, you still risked getting crushed or impaled if you put a foot wrong. Corpse sawed away at the first side of the tree with Peter, opening a slice in the wood before moving around to the opposite side to cut horizontally. A final jab, and the tree groaned, bending to the will of gravity and falling to Earth. The ground trembled slightly at the impact, and they got to work, stripping away branches from the heavy tree.   
The entire process of cutting the tree down, to stripping branches, and finally sawing through it to cut it into planks took a solid amount of time. It took a careful eye and a steady hand backed by strength. No one spoke of much, working quickly in the silence and offering a few directions here and there. The sun had passed its peak and was rolling towards the West rapidly. By the time the group had finished sawing out and smoothing planks for use, the sky was flooded with colors as the sun and the horizon meshed together.   
“Let’s call it a day. We have plenty of time for this tomorrow,” Peter declared, resting his gloved hands on his hips.   
“Agreed. Something up there smells good, too,” Lud commented, acknowledging the smoky smells rising from the campfire not far away. Corpse’s stomach growled in agreement and Karl laughed, making his way for the outpost. That prompted them all to leave their work behind them as they wearily trudged for food.

“How’d it go, guys? Everybody unscathed?” Poki asked as she stirred a large cast iron pot of beans.  
“Good, we managed to come up with a sizable amount of planks,” Rae answered as she plopped down on one of the logs circled around the campfire.   
“God, the food smells incredible,” Ludwig groaned as Poki handed him a can of what she had been stirring, “Any luck with the waterproof stuff?”  
“We completed five, but we didn’t think we could stretch it any further. There’s still some left if someone wants a hat or something,” Leslie mussed, munched away on her meal. Ludwig plopped down on an empty log, waving at Corpse to come sit with him once he retrieved his dinner.   
“I would love a hat,” Lud thought aloud. Corpse took his can and fork from Poki, nodding in gratitude. He wandered over to where Ludwig was eating, sitting next to the man.  
“Nah, I want a hat. I’d look so cool,” Jack argued, obviously teasing at Ludwig.   
“Jack, we all know I’d look better. Be real with yourself,” Ludwig jabbed back, smiling along with him.   
Corpse tuned out the friendly bickering and laughter of those around as he stared at the brown bean and bacon in his hands. He swirled his fork around in it, lost in thought.  
The gaping hole Sykkuno left in his heart lurked at the edges of his conscience. No matter how hard he worked, how focused he was, nothing could distract him from the growing pain of losing him. Corpse yearned for answers. An explanation, atleast. Maybe, just maybe, he could bear the pain if he knew why he was forced to carry it. Every moment he sat still, he turned every possibility over and over. 

What if he died in the fire and we just haven’t found him yet? Unlikely, since they’ve scored the whole outpost.

Did he wander off in search of help when the fire started? No, the fire seemed to have started just before Corpse had arrived, he would’ve run into him. Besides, Sykkuno would’ve stayed with Toast.   
Ah, Toast. His grief over Sykkuno had pushed Toast aside. Not once had anyone successfully brought up the subject of the two missing men, too afraid to strike an argument or cause a rift in their rocking world. Mentions would sprout up here and there, or someone would trip over their names in a conversation. It never lasted long. It hurt all too much.

“Good work today, man,” Karl, who sat beside him offered to the silent man between forkfuls of beans.  
“Thanks,” was the only reply Corpse offered. The laughter had died down, cans and forks put aside as they eight unique and various people stared into the fire. A Northern wind howled, pulling the fire into the sky and growing it into great plumes. Heat licked at their faces a stark difference from the deep set cold.   
“I miss him. I miss them both,” Rae muttered. The group looked up at her, curious to see if she would brave the stony subject. “We need to quit avoiding this. It’s time we talk.”  
“Rae-” Leslie started,  
“No, she’s right. We can’t avoid this forever,” Corpse spoke up, still gazing everywhere but the eyes drawn to him. The wind settled, as if pleased at the course this was taking. And there it was. The painful cavern left behind that they had to cross or fall into.  
“What… what do we think even happened to them?” Jack murmured, his loud voice unusually quiet.  
“Logically, they either died in the fire, ran off, or…” Peter responded, voice surgically monotone. He drifted off at the last second, seemingly at a loss.   
“Or it was an attack,” Rae finished for him, arms crossed and expression stern. That raised a few eyebrows.  
“Who would attack us? And that doesn’t explain what happened to Sykkuno and Toast,” Ludwig questioned, speaking their names as if they were sacred.   
“Not everyone likes us. As much good as we do, we feed criminals without knowing it. There are empires all around us who might not like pests being blindly supported,” Rae offered, staring him dead in the eye. It was true. They were surrounded by what were practically small nations. Despite appearing to live in a blissful paradise, they were aware of the world around them and the darkness that accompanied it. The outpost had been approached by guns and arms before, but Sykkuno seemed to make an art out of making friends.  
“Someone could’ve raided while we were all gone and taken Toast and Sykkuno as leverage. They probably knew they could fetch a bounty for them,” She concluded.  
“If someone wanted a bounty, wouldn’t they have contacted us by now?” Poki asked. That, Rae couldn’t answer. She stayed quiet, the wheel turning in her head, searching for a response.  
“Then they took them as prisoners. Plenty of people are fond of Sykkuno. Everyone knows there’s always going to be a sicko out there who just wants an ornament,” Corpse mumbled.  
The silence that sat over the group was unbearable, but what he said was true. It was a dark world, full of even darker people. They sat unmoving, weary and sad. No one wanted to admit that it was the most possible. Soft gasps for air came from Poki, giving away the sobs she was trying to cover. Leslie held onto her, crying with her as Lud and Jack rose to sit with them. Peter joined, not strong enough to stand on his own. Karl, who hadn’t spoken a peep, stumbled to them, leaving Corpse in solitude. Rae stood, walking behind Poki to set a hand on her shoulder. Corpse looked at her, watching the tear rush down her cheek, her face still stony. The urge to sit with them and feel the comfort of solidarity was strong, but Corpse’s feet betrayed him as he stood and turned, heading for the edge of the woods. No one stopped him, caught in their own grief or understanding. So he walked.  
When his feet froze, he looked around at his surroundings. Trees scraped the sky all around him. A full moon beamed down at him, bathing the world around him in milky light. The hot, salty tears that fell from his eyes surprised him, but a rustling in the brush caught more of his attention.  
“Who’s there?” He growled, adrenaline overriding every emotion in him. Corpse’s muscles tensed, ready to spring in any direction. It grew closer, the shuffling noise he had heard. A shadowy silhouette stumbled towards him, depicting a man he couldn’t see the face of yet. Corpse’s eyebrows knit together, bewildered at the sight before him. His muscles went lax, and he straightened up from his tense position.

“Toast?”

Sykkuno threw the covers off of himself. The sheets had trapped in, tangling in his limbs as he thrashed for freedom. Gasping, he broke free and sat upright on the edge of his bed. Nightmares had plagued him all night and this wasn’t the first time he had shot awake. The silky curtains fluttered softly from the breeze the opened window brought in. Drenched in sweat, Sykkuno stood on shaky legs and stumbled to the window seat to sit in the cold breeze.  
“I can’t keep doing this,” He finally sighed as he leaned heavily on the cold glass. He hadn’t caught a wink of genuine sleep, despite the exhaustion lingering in his bones from his journey. Too many questions bombarded him. The doubt growing in him festered and spread like a wildfire, leaving his heart in ruin. xQc’s words haunted him, even in his dreams. Three times now he had dreamt of the outpost, roaring with flames and Toast screaming inside. He stood outside a burning building, the one he shared with the man he loved. Each time, the door would creak open despite the flames as if pushed by a phantom force. Then, without fail, a hand at his back would shove him forward into the raging fire. That he could handle, nightmares were no stranger to him. Yet when he turned to face who had pushed him, he was met with Corpse’s face, the other eight of the outpost standing behind him. Then he’d wake in a sweat.  
It shook him to his core, scaring him more that he’d like to acknowledge.  
“You’d never do that, I don’t believe it,” Sykkuno muttered to no one. Tears slipped down his pale face, drenched in moonlight.   
“How did I even get here? What did I do to deserve this,” he murmured, staring up at the moon that was sinking towards the ocean. Sykkuno sighed, screwing his eyes shut.   
“Please, someone. Anyone. Say it’s not true,” he whispered, slipping into a restless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo.  
> So I didn’t cry writing this but I did go on a anxiety included cleaning spree, so yay.  
> School has been a bitch and updating is hard, even when the chapters aren’t stupendously long. If I fall of the face of the earth for bit, blame the education system of America.
> 
> To those commenting, bless your souls. Literally the highlights of my day, folks. <3
> 
> Stay tuned for more sadness and gaslighting ahaha ✌️😗


	6. note-

Hey, all.  
I’m sorry to say this, but as of now, this work is discontinued. Some extreme events have happened in my life and there isn’t much room for writing at the moment. Abandoning a work was never my intention, but life is unpredictable. I’ll still be active on Ao3, but completing a quality, in depth story is beyond my capabilities right now. There is still a possibility that I will pick up the work again, but there is also a greater chance that I won’t. If I don't focus wholly on something like this, I tend to lose interest and my ability to write to the plot line disappears. I’m profusely sorry to all the people who enjoyed reading this, but take this as an opportunity to imagine your own ending.   
On another note, if this work inspires you to write something similar, please leave a small note of credit. It doesn’t have to be great or large, simple is just fine. I did however pour over the later chapters of this fanfiction and spend nights revising where I could. Thank you!

All the best. <3

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the short kickoff!! The next chapter will be much less happy and much longer. Stay tuned!!


End file.
